The confidence paradox

"The reality is that the universal language is English. It doesn't have to be perfect English! My English is broken but I can still communicate!" --The Dalai Lama, in Japan Times online.


Paradox is defined as "a statement or proposition that seems self-contradictory or absurd but in reality expresses a possible truth."
Confidence, in this usage, is the feeling that you can do something.
The confidence paradox when you're learning a new language is that the less confident you are in speaking, the less you will learn. I think this is because when your confidence is low, you feel bad when you make mistakes, and you start to lose your trust that you know what to say. Then you make more mistakes and this seems to support your low confidence! You may think, "I can't speak correctly and I will never be able to." You lose your ability to take risks, and finally, you become so worried about making mistakes that you forget the real objective of speaking, which is to communicate.
I'm very familiar with this feeling. Sometimes when I speak Spanish, I have problems and my confidence starts to decline. Then I have to remind myself that my objective is to communicate.
Communication is more than speaking a language properly, and we understand this easily when we speak our native language. Sometimes we communicate with others well, and sometimes not. If you have an unsuccessful communication with other people in your native language, do you lose confidence in your ability to speak properly? Probably not. You may focus on your listening skills, body language, your feeling during the conversation, the topic you were discussing, etc. This shows that many elements form part of communication.
So I want to encourage you to focus on communication when you speak in English. Here are some ways to do this:

• Look at the other person and listen to what he or she is saying.



• Smile.



• Ask questions if you don't understand.



• Try to put your attention on understanding the other, not on whether you might make a mistake.

Trust me, when you focus on understanding another person, you won't be so worried about your own mistakes. If you make a mistake, smile, correct your mistake if necessary, and go on. I promise you that you will learn more this way!